Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
