Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I'm passing your future prison.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
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