If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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