Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
