My first STD was from a foam party
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize