Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I wanna bring you to show and tell
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
