My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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