You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
These tits shall not be calmed
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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