you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
