Moan for me like Helen Keller
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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