how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
No...this little piggys going to the bar
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
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