I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
