im having a threesome with these popsicles
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
