have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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