When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
But theres a keg here and me gusta
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Randomize