Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
