Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
