i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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