me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
We are all done wearing pants today
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
