Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
