If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Randomize
