at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
