I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
You don't need yoga. You need a boyfriend! Trust me I've become all sorts of flexible this past year.
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