Don't you send me to vm
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
