Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
