found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
we're so committed to being not committed
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
