Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
is that a dick in a sweater?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
