so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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