i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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