he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
a search helicopter?!
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
I have aggressive nipples.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
