id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize
