He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
