3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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