the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize
