Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
