We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
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