i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
