And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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