your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
