nut hugger
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Are my feet made of real feet?
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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