Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
