Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
