I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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