did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Randomize
