It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
