A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
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