made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Randomize
