He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
