Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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