She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
