The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
