covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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