I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
my nose is crying tears of wow.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
