we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
Randomize
