Fuck appropriateness.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
