Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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