I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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