I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
