If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
